Legend has it that if a woman gives up the goods on the first night she has eliminated herself from the potential of anything serious, do you agree? The short response to this myth is “maybe” however the real question is much more complex. Quite frankly it depends on the man, the situation and believe it or not, the woman and her feelings towards what transpired.
Do you believe in finding true love online? Is finding your next husband or wife as easy as logging in? What is your opinion on Online Dating?
Most people prefer online dating to the bar scene because online dating offers a better chance of getting a first date. Post a reasonably attractive picture, sell your life's resume, and wait for the solicitations to pour in.
Losing friendships over love? Why? Do men and women handle friendships differently? Losing a friend can be worse than a break-up. So why does it keep happening to men and women?
There are many reasons why friendships die over love. The cases are all too familiar from the movie screen to our personal lives. And in all cases tough decisions have to be made. What do you value more...the friendship or relationship; Or does each have their place?
You have been in a relationship for a long time and now your single again – how do you re-date or do you just date?
Women & Men spend many years together but are clearly not promised forever. There will come a time when it seems it is better to just separate. So many have sacrificed for their children, finances, comfort or just afraid to be alone. Some go experience separation by means of death and have no choice but to start over! A relationship break up can be a very painful experience. Mourning the loss of the relationship for a time is perfectly natural. It is a time to come to terms with your loss so that you can move on to a brighter day. Part of that brighter day will probably involve dating again. After a break up, when should you start dating again?
Tonight on the Live In The Vocal Booth show we have a two fold discussion. First we discuss Bed Bugs and control/prevention. Followed by Fears and Phobias! Do you have any?, If so are they controlling your life, holding you back from accomplishing your goals or dreams? Get live in the vocal booth and let us know!
"My arm is itching! Where did I get this bump from?" "OMG!" "I've got BED BUGS!!!" Or is it just a detergent allergy? Or did I get it from my friends house? These are all questions and worries that some people bring to themselves. So tonight the LIVB team tackles 2 subjects under 1 topic, "WHAT ARE YOUR FEARS AND PHOBIAS? ARE THEY CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE? The 1st hour, we discuss the world of pest control and the phobias people have over bed bugs,rodents, wild animals, bees etc etc. We have a guest tonight from Horizon Pest Control. Quality Assurance inspector JoAnne Pajunas will tell us about and give answers to questions about all those scary bugs and rodents that may be invading your home and driving you insane!
The 2nd hour we talk about what are your phobias? What makes them a phobia to you? Is your phobia a mental thing or a physical thing? Is it unhealthy? How far will you go to make sure your phobia doesn't get you? Hmmm, I don't know. You might be driving yourself insane! Let's find out together TONIGHT LIVE IN THE VOCAL BOOTH!!
Special Guest: Quality Assurance Inspector JoAnne Pajunas
With a career in pest control that started in 1986, JoAnne Pajunas is one of the best at what she does, which is pest control! She is New Jersey Licensed in Categories 7A - 7B - 13 L since 1986. She is a New Jersey Wood Destroying Insect Credentialed Inspector, and New York Licensed Category 7A since 2007. She also is AIB Certified in Food Safety for Warehousing and Distribution and a member of the Entomological Society of America. She is currently the quality control inspector at Horizon Pest Control. You got a problem, she'll solve it!
Special Guest: Author Cassius Ali
Cassius started writing in High school where he wrote plays, won speech contests and became one of the editors on the year book staff. Later, he wrote two books of his own for Barlow Elementary School in Plainfield, NJ, while studying at the George St. play house.
Cassius also wrote a number of shows for the children of Barlow School and represented the school for city wide P T O two years in a row. Since, then Cassius has gone on to writing commercials, stories, for New York projects and more.
In March of 2012 Cassius came out with one of two books he plans to release this year. The first is a poetry book called “The Last Word”. He chose poetry to start because he believes if you can bring words to life in a poem, you can do the same in a story. Which is why the second book, is a story book with three stories in one. There are two bullying stories, one from the perspective of the bully and the other from the perspective of the one being bullied. The last story is about long term relationships and some of the things that can or have happened in our lives.
I got an email in April from a friend about an advanced screening of Jumping the Broom in Washington, D.C. that featured a Q&A session with mega-pastor, and co-producer, T.D. Jakes. I had class and wasn’t able to attend so I took my mother and aunt to see the film over Mother’s Day weekend instead. A few years ago I probably wouldn’t have even paid attention to the film, but writing for this site has made me more conscious of the ways in which African-American relationships are portrayed in the media.
While much of the movie centered on major themes such as class differences, family secrets, and the love lives of the supporting characters, I was more interested in the topics that weren’t major plot lines. This post is not a review of the movie (for the record, I loved it), but rather an opportunity to share a few of my main takeaways from the film that relate to real life relationship issues I believe are critically important, yet rarely discussed.
Be a bodyguard
One of the prevailing themes of the movie was the conflict between the groom’s mother (played by Loretta Devine) and wife-to-be (played by Paula Patton). While Devine’s character might have seemed extreme to some people, her behavior is often displayed by our family and friends in real life through disrespectful comments, a negative attitude towards our relationships, interfering in relationship issues, or even trying to orchestrate a breakup.
Relationships require a certain amount of protection, and while guarding against infidelity seems obvious, sometimes they also need to be shielded from loved ones. As the movie demonstrated, allowing hostility to fester puts a significant strain on a couple. At some point the person whose family or friends are involved in the conflict needs to have the courage to let them know that the relationship, particularly in the case of marriage, is a major priority and that their partner deserves to be respected. I put an extra emphasis on marital relationships because they are the only ones in which both participants take vows to publicly affirm their union. This level of unity will inevitably require each person to play the role of relationship protector and bodyguard at times.
Another subplot in the movie was family finances. Without giving away too much, I’ll just say that money issues were serious enough to push the bride’s parents to the brink of divorce. I think it’s safe to say that most people recognize how damaging poor money management skills can be to a relationship, so I’ll put that issue to the side for now.
A good friend pointed out an even more compelling theme, however, when she gave me her review of the film. She was struck by the total lack of accountability on behalf of the bride’s father with regard to his financial dealings. Of all the attributes I’ve heard people list about their ideal relationship, rarely have I heard accountability and transparency listed among the top 10.
Keeping secrets leads to deception and dishonesty, whether the issue is a bad investment or the secret “work spouse” who seems to know you more intimately than your actual spouse. The reason we are not more transparent is because we fear accountability. Exposing our character failings and major mistakes generally evokes feelings of embarrassment and shame. Therefore, we often fool ourselves into thinking we can handle these situations on our own, even as they spiral out of control. Unfortunately, this type of attitude keeps us from getting to the root of a problem and starting on a path to resolution.
Don’t major on minors
The overall lavishness of the wedding itself, especially when juxtaposed with the chaotic state of the relationships within and between each family, was also striking. Most estimates put the average cost of an American wedding between $25K-30K, up almost 50% in the last 20 years, yet the average first marriage has a 40%-60% chance of ending in divorce, two and a half times more often than 20 yeas ago.
Put simply, it’s foolish to splurge on a million dollar wedding if you’re only going to have a five-cent marriage. Unfortunately, this is all too common in real life as well. Our culture has become entranced by the phenomenon of big-ticket weddings, with all of their pomp and circumstance, but has comparatively little appetite for the work that is required to build solid relationship foundations. Thankfully there are a number of resources available (e.g., premarital education) for couples who want to strengthen their bonds, but they are only effective if people actually apply what they’ve learned.
Unsurprisingly, Jumping the Broom has had both its fair share of critics and supporters. Some believed that African-American love stories should be told outside of a traditional Christian narrative. Others appreciated the film’s role in debunkingmyths related to marriage in the African-American community. While these, and others, are all useful perspectives, I hope we all take the opportunity to see how the characters on the big screen reflect some of the same issues we face in our own relationships.
BMWK, what’s the most important relationship lesson you learned from watching Jumping the Broom or some other relationship movie?
Anthony Hamilton, born in Charlotte, North Carolina, was discovered at the age of 10 while singing in his church's choir. Releasing his first studio composed album in 1996, Hamilton has been delivering music for over 15 years. After being introduced to the mainstream on the Grammy winning song by the Nappy Roots Po' Folks, Anthony has continued to deliver quality music to the masses. Back to Love is Hamilton's 7th album. Can he continue to deliver powerful soulful songs with a message that can be felt by all.
Is it really realistic to set New Years Resolutions? Do we set goals that are really obtainable? Do we shot for the stars with only a bottle rocket to get there? Tonight on Live In The Vocal Booth let talk about Resolutions and how to really fulfill our goals and setting realistic resolutions. How can we enlist other to help us obtain our goal? How many goals are too many Goals? Lets help set each other up for success in 2012. We want to know whats your goals and whats the craziest goals you have heard. Tonight rite here on Live In The Vocal Booth.
Let's get it on with relationship coach sadie show. Topic: We're In Love, But We Have Nothing In Common. Chat live or call in 646-233-1302. Let coach sadie help you get your relationship back on track. Join the live experience on www.bks1radio.com
Money, Power, Influence, and the impact on Relationships: What attracts the opposite sex into a supposedly “committed” relationship, and why do both Men and Women stay, especially when things go horribly wrong. Is it the Money, Power, or the Influence the relationship brings to their lives, or at the end of the day, does TRUE LOVE truly conquer all.
Why is there a perception in American society today that most, if not all of the women viewed as exceptionally beautiful within only seem to be interested in the “Baller”, Rapper, Entertainment Icon, Doctor, Lawyer, or otherwise powerful man, whether he’s perceived to be attractive or not, based on what he “can do” for her? Why is there a perception that women can be “Bought”, to the extent that men actually forgo relationships with women who could prove to be excellent life partners, instead focusing on the pursuit and conquer of “Pretty Punanny”, irrespective of the “cost”?
Equally stated, why are men today more focused on their external physical appearances, their “Swag”, dedicating thousands of hours to the gym every year, believing that some of the most beautiful and educated women within our society, especially those “never married, no-children African American sistah girls” who hear and fear the boom of their biological clocks ticking? These educated, attractive, and “always at the club, the Neighborhood Awards, or the Tom Joyner Family Reunion in packs, who primarily are between ages 35 and 50, and make no excuses for their preference of these “Buff”, “Eye Candy” gladiators who they prefer to have on their arms, (and the younger, the better.), because they can “pay” for them, Vs men within their own age, academic, and occupational demographic who would otherwise make great companions, fathers, and family men, albeit spending much less time in the gym and in the mirror, but also much less likely to accept the “Real Housewives Of Atlanta” attitudes many of these narcissistic, self-centered women seem to possess?
Tune in to LIVE with Alisha Lee and R. Paige, as we discuss the topic of Chapter 13 of R. Paige’s best-selling book: “Think Like A Woman, Act Like A Man Money, Power, and Influence, and the role each has on our relationship choices in American, and global society.
If you’re THINKING about it, then we’re TALKING about it, on LIVE With Alisha Lee & R. Paige, Tuesday June 30th, at 7 pm est only on BKS1RADIO.COM . Participate in the chat and/or call in 646-233-1302
Tuesday Nights will NEVER Be The Same,
Special Guest: Mikey Jay
Mikey Jay is the current NY Ambassador for Peace December. He is a Native American-Trindadian /African American mainstream recording artist, music producer, actor, clothing line owner, film producer, film financier, civil rights activist, father, rights activist, philanthropist and community activist from the Southeast Bronx section of New York City. He is the true definition of a mogul. Although he was born in Harlem and raised in the South Bronx, Mikey Jay overcame many trials and tribulations.
Soon after he was born, on Christmas Day at 9:30am, Mikey's blood pressure shot up to a level that should have taken his life. That is when it was realized, he was truly a gift. Through all of this, he has risen to become one of the most sought after artist, entertainers, producers and actors In the entertainment industry. His charismatic swagger, handsomely good looks and hilarious sense of humor has propelled Mikey Jay to the forefront of the music, film and television world. Mikey Jay is the true definition of a mogul, humanitarian, entrepreneur, artist, and all around entertainer. His willingness to share his life experiences to empower the youth and to give back is unparalleled.
Mikey Jay has made a life commitment to use music and his talents to bring forth positive impacts in communities nationally and internationally. Mikey Jay has moved from the streets to the booth, to the screen and to the boardroom and he is showing others how to do the same. As he states, “music is power” and in the right hands, it is the answer.
The Accolades Of Mikey Jay
• 2005 Diamond Life Mag. Cover
• 2007, 2008, 2010 guest judge on BET’s 106 & Park Freestyle Friday