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Feeling insecure in a relationship can be natural up to a point, at least until the relationship "settles". However, insecurity can destroy a relationship. It drives people to become too 'clingy' or needy and this creates problems. Insecurity causes us to try to control others, and causes us to resist the control of others.

When we enter an intimate relationship we can feel very emotionally vulnerable; especially if we already have a lack of self confidence or self-esteem or have felt let down or hurt in previous relationships. Your insecurity will lead you to start looking for signs of things "going wrong" and you usually find what you are looking for, even if it doesn't exist. People who are highly insecure are more likely to interpret their partners' actions in a negative way and then choose to respond in kind.

Typical thoughts and feelings of an insecure partner include
* Will they reject me?
* Have I done something to upset them?
* This is just too good to last!
* Why did they say that?
* Who's this other person they've mentioned?
* Why did they pause after I said ______?"

Sound familiar?

Insecure partners also tend to end relationships first.  It is easier to walk away rather than risk the pain of abandonment.  But we all need the comforts and support that intimacy can bring us. So what can you do if insecurity is damaging your relationship?

Let's talk about it!

Real Women...Real Topics...Real Talk...OWWHH!!!

TONIGHT'S TOPIC- THE PROBLEMS INSECURITY CAN CAUSE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS"

Being in a relationship is far from easy. You have to put in some work,compromise, understanding and some unconditional love needs to added. Its a shame relationships don't automatically come with trust and honesty. Sometimes partners can become insecure or not trusting of their partner. Sometimes insecurities can turn into something we don't know how to deal with well or interpret as abuse. We are gonna talk about some signs to look out for if you think you have an insecure partner, friend, etc;

Special Guest: Bio - Author and Motivational Speaker Wil Townsend

Wil Townsend is a sought after motivational speaker, coach and mentor who spreads hope, love and joy with his interactive presentations throughout the U.S.A and Canada.  With his blazing quick wit and amazing stage presence, Wil delivers a high-energy message that enables women, men and youth to live up to their own personal greatness which in turn makes it possible to have healthy, loving relationships.  

He first realized his calling in the 90's when he was touring the nation with the R&B sensation Asante, (signed with Columbia Records),  and experienced first hand the depths to which women will lower themselves to catch the eye of a man.  His momentary "star status" and connections to giant producers such as Denny Foster and Tommy McElroy, the creator of En Vogue, made him the focus of many women.  Although he admits he had his fun, he realized on some level that something needed to be done!

Even after he retired from the music industry it was quite apparent that women in general would willingly subject themselves to demoralizing behavior from men. Through his own experiences and others, he realized that people everywhere are in search of love and will go to great lengths to get it and/or keep it.  Unfortunately, "many are willing to sell themselves short in order to get what they think they want."  By compromising their morals and beliefs, people have lost an integral part of themselves that will result in unhappiness in the long-run.

Wil has interviewed hundreds of men and tells it how it is from a man's point of view.   He goes into depth about men and women's needs and desires and also points out the game, the pitfalls and the red flags that women should be on the lookout for.  His powerful message implores women to take back their power and respect by taking the proper steps in setting a strong foundation; which in turn creates positive energy internally and within the relationship.

Special Guest: Dreamy

Definition of Dreamy;  1. full of dreams 2. pleasantly abstracted from immediate reality  3. given to dreaming or fantasy.

The day Dreamy was born her grandmother took one look at those beautiful eyes and stated "She is Dreamy". The beauty of her eyes told a story that touched her grandmother’s heart and soul.  Dreamy’s journey is liken to that of A Star is Born.  Dreamy’s personality (don't you just like saying her name?) is vivacious, sensational, and loving. This Soul was born and bred in Newark New Jersey (Brick City).

It could be said that Dreamy is one of the natural resources hailing from this great city and state. Newark is currently being positioned for a rebirth of a new Mecca of music. Dreamy is also a part of the continued heritage of famous artists that hale from New Jersey.  She has flava, opulence, and she approaches her artistry very seriously. Dreamy’s vocal styling includes, pop/urban, hip-hop, gospel music, and rock n roll.

Dreamy and her 3 sisters formed a group called Famil.  Each sister brought their own distinct styles of dauntless charisma, creating what can only be describe as heaven sent. Dreamy is the leader of the bunch - and you know what that means for any family - she is the fearless one, the power house, the in your face raw soul. The group was signed to Universal/Motown Records, and toured with Mary J Bilge, Joe, Cash Money, and Nelly.

Dreamy has since ventured out on her own and has open for artist such as Chrissette Michelle, Kelly Price, Marsha Ambrosius, Waka Floka,Maino and Vado.  As a solo artist, Dreamy gives a performance that is gusty and straight from the streets.  Her lyrics speak the language of love regarding its gains, losses, fury, and then loves ultimate respect. She is a powerhouse of kinetic vocal ability with a fresh new pop/urban, hip hop style. Dreamy is ready to take her career to new heights.

Dreamy performed for Al Sharpton’s National Network event at the Sheraton hotel in New York City and John Blassinggame's Black Woman's Magazine 17th Annual Fashion Event at the Marriott Resorts Hotel in New Jersey. Dreamy will be performing for the Seventeeth Anniversary party for Today’s Black Woman Magazine hosted by John Blassingame. Located at the Marriott Hotels & Resorts in Newark Liberty International Airport. Dreamy has just finished her 1st music video entitled :"too late" which you can find on youtube.com

link to video:  http://youtu.be/MPJ6orbEj5E

How Insecurity Can Ruin a Good Relationship?

Insecurity is something that we, as humans, deal with on an everyday basis on many levels. Some fears and insecurities are based on safety. We have locks on our doors to keep people out. Sometimes we put up emotional bars as well to keep people that we say we love out of our hearts and this can be viewed as insecurities as well.

But, there are a groups of individuals who suffer from a different kind of fear:

Emotional Insecurity:

A good definition that I found, via Wikipedia, for someone who is afflicted with this disorder - "Insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving oneself to be unloved, inadequate or worthless (whether in a rational or an irrational manner). A person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value and capability, lacks trust in themselves or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by "going wrong" in the future."

Men/woman can develop controlling personality types from this disorder and can cause harm and unpleasantness to their partners. But often times, it lies quiet, going on behind the scenes, not letting their partner know that they feel this way this way.

Let's explore these insecurities and see if we can put an end to them and have some meaningful, Grown, Sexy Situations!

Special Guest: HOWARD HEWETT

Among the great pure vocalists of the urban contemporary era, Howard Hewett has seldom found material worthy of his tremendous skills. He grew up in Akron, Ohio, and relocated to Los Angeles. Hewett danced on Soul Train, and became one-third of Shalamar with Jeffrey Daniel and Jody Watley in 1979. They had several big hits before Hewett departed for a solo career in 1985.

He signed with Elektra, and his second single, "I'm for Real," was a number two R&B hit in 1986. The follow-up single, "Stay," also made the Top Ten, while "I Commit to Love" in 1987 reached number 12. Hewitt remained on Elektra through the '80s and into the '90s, earning another hit with "Strange Relationshp" in 1988, and cutting duets with Dionne Warwick and Anita Baker. He's also been busy as a writer, producer, and session vocalist. Hewett co-wrote and produced "Frustration" for LaToya Jackson in 1984, and sang on her LP Heart Don't Lie. He did lead vocals on LPs by Stanley Clarke and George Duke in 1984 and 1986, a duet with Stacy Lattisaw on "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," and sang with Firefox in 1986, as well as doing backgrounds on a Donna Summer release.

On of the great pure vocalists of the urban contemporary era, Howard Hewett has seldom found material worthy of his tremendous skills. He grew up in Akron, Ohio, and relocated to Los Angeles. Hewett danced on Soul Train, and became one-third of Shalamar with Jeffrey Daniel and Jody Watley in 1979. They had several big hits before Hewett departed for a solo career in 1985. He signed with Elektra, and his second single, "I'm for Real," was a number two R&B hit in 1986. The follow-up single, "Stay," also made the Top Ten, while "I Commit to Love" in 1987 reached number 12. Hewitt remained on Elektra through the '80s and into the '90s, earning another hit with "Strange Relationshp" in 1988, and cutting duets with Dionne Warwick and Anita Baker. He's also been busy as a writer, producer, and session vocalist. Hewett co-wrote and produced "Frustration" for LaToya Jackson in 1984, and sang on her LP Heart Don't Lie. He did lead vocals on LPs by Stanley Clarke and George Duke in 1984 and 1986, a duet with Stacy Lattisaw on "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," and sang with Firefox in 1986, as well as doing backgrounds on a Donna Summer release

Special Guest: ALICIA MYERS

Vocalist Alicia Myers was a charter member of Al Hudson & the Soul Partners, which later became One Way, before she departed in the early '80s for a solo career. She earned a Top Ten hit with "You Get the Best from Me (Say, Say, Say)" in 1984, although her strongest record was the gospel/soul "I Want to Thank You" in 1982. Myers made four LPs for MCA during the '80s.

Special Guests: RASHEEDA and Kirk

Best known as the "Georgia Peach", Rasheeda is an Atlanta based Hip Hop artist. She is also the mother of 11 year old Ky with husband Kirk Frost, whom she has been married to for 12 years. She is signed to his label and management company D-Lo Entertainment; a partnership that can sometimes prove challenging when trying to juggle business and family.

Rasheeda rose to fame with the success of her hit single "My Bubblegum," which is her biggest record to date and was the platinum ring tone on the number one box office smash, Paul Blart Mall Cop.

Through her Boss Bitch Music Mixtape Series, Volume 1-­‐4, Rasheeda has amassed a large following throughout the southeast region and worldwide via her Internet fan base. In 2010, Rasheeda won Mixtape Artist of the Year (Female) at the Southern Entertainment Awards and she was the first independent female artist nominated for a BET award for Female Hip Hop Artist of the year.

Owner of ImBossy.com, an apparel and accessories company, Rasheeda is now set to release her new album, Boss Chick Music. Always striving for balance, Rasheeda is out to prove that as a woman you can have it all- family and career.

Special Guest: Mayor of Plainfield, New Jersey Sharon Robinson-Briggs

Special Guest: Adrienne Sykes

Tonight’s Topic: "Insecurities deep within"...

(dealing with them (INTERNAL), covering them up(EXTERNAL), exposing them to the world, sharing them with a loved one-significant other/family)

We all know the world is full of imperfection, and yet many people try to cover their imperfections with false confidence, surgery, medication, or other means of camouflage. No matter what any of us say or how confident we exude ourselves to be when it comes to being comfortable with our body image, personality, or otherwise there is always something we secretly want to improve. Women have this issue more so than men especially because women face criticism by means of media, society, and personally including relationships. You'll never see a man turn to another and ask, "Do I look fat in these pants?" But that doesn't mean men are invulnerable to insecurities, no matter how much they like to think so.

Women are upfront about their fears, doubts, and self-esteem. Some may think of it as compulsive gabbiness, a quirk of the fairer sex, but in fact, it is an admirable coping mechanism that can come across to some as a bit courageous. Just because men don't talk about their insecurities doesn't mean they don't have them. The most common of insecurities in men besides their physical appearance is income, material gain such as a expensive cars/homes etc., relationships, and even their (whispers) "friend down under". Both sexes young and old face challenges when it comes to overcoming insecurities, and at times it can hinder our growth as individuals personally and romantically.

Image is important to everyone, and having a natural confidence about something we find to be an "eyesore" or unattractive to others is hard to obtain. For us average individuals who can't look to a "quick fix" by means of wealth; learning to live with these issues is easier said than done, but can our insecurities cost us more than we bargain by not truly loving ourselves for who we are or even overcompensating swaggering arrogance for bravery. Either way no one can perpetrate to the world a message for people to "Hate it or Love", forever, especially without knowing the answer themselves, but at some point we all have to face the music and look ourselves in the mirror.

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If you are in the NYC/NJ area send us the following information and someone from our team will contact you! We would love to have you join us in the studio as a male perspective on one of our shows.

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DO YOU HAVE A KNOCK IT OFF? CALL 646 233 1302

Is there something that bothers you and you just want to tell the world to knock it off? If so, then call into the show at 11:59pm ET on any Friday from anywhere and tell us how you are feeling!!!!

Artist Review: Lady

All you have to do is listen to Lady once, and you’ll remember—in case you forgot—why they call it soul music. The honesty, the aching sweetness, the raw power of these singers and their songs will remind you that nothing can move you as much, or touch you as deeply, as two women with amazing voices singing in tight harmony.

Lady is the name of the group and of their first recording—the latest from Truth & Soul. Together Nicole Wray and Terri Walker make music that sounds a little like the songs your Mama loved best—and at the same time like nothing you’ve ever heard before.

Nicole, who’s from Atlanta and Terri, from England, met in New York City in 2009 and realized that their love of soul classics and the hip-hop of today would make for a new kind of record. They linked up with producers Leon Michels and Jeff Silverman, whose lushly-orchestrated, beat-heavy songs have showcased artists such as Adele, Raekwon, Ghostface Killah, Aloe Blacc, and Lee Fields.

Terri Walker has released four hit albums in the United Kingdom. Her debut was nominated for the prestigious Mercury Music Prize. Nicole Wray’s debut single, “Make It Hot,” was certified gold. She has been featured on singles by Missy Elliott, Cam’ron, the Black Keys, Kid Cudi, and many others.

Lady, Nicole and Terri’s first project together, unites the mellowness and pop flair of 60s soul with the driving beat of hop-hop, and the silky rhythms of modern R&B. These two powerful voices harmonize to create a fresh sound that tells the stories of growing up and never giving up, of love and friendship, of yearning and losing, bad girls and good hearts.

Lady is an authentic original, drawing from the past to infuse the present with new power. In one of the album’s most touching songs, “Sweet Lady”, a loving tribute to their moms and to strong women everywhere, they sing, “Take my hat off to my mother, / such a sweet lady. / There will never be another one like you.”

Prepare to take your hat off to Lady. Get ready to fall in love. There has never been, there will never be, anything like it before.

Follow Lady on Facebook and Twitter.

Read More about Lady: http://truthandsoulrecords.com/artists/lady/

Topic: Is The Pressure of Being a "Man" Killing Our Men?

Tonight on BKS1RADIO.com  Is the pressure of being a "MAN" killing our men? Living up to the status of husband,father, provider, head of household can be a stressful burden to hold. Women are less supportive and tolerant as they used to be. The laws are pro woman anti man when it comes to alimony and divorce.

You lose your job all fingers point at you to make it happen, men are dying from stress and stroke and people wonder why? What is the woman's role in this situation, what is a man to do? Love to hear you thoughts Live in the Vocal Booth!